plz talk dirty to me
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
