Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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