And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
