her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
