Pappa wants mamma naked
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
