So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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