Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize