THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
