Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
