How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
of course. lets lasso hookers.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
