I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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