am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
