It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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