The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
did i just pee glitter
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
