some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
