Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You are the jesus of drinking
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
