Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
