I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
