People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
