grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
only you would photoshop your dick
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
