I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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