We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
