I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize