We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
