there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
