woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
