Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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