escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
