we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
