We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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