i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
