She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize