and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
