is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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