Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
