I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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