put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Randomize
