There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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