I wanna bring you to show and tell
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
...so i touched it.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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