He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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