Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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