Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
