does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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