Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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