I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
