we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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