I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
