that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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