made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize