I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
