we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
