I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
then he tried to convert me to islam
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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