Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
This baby is an asshole
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize