I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
