It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
