Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
