i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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