Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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