Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The uberlube is also flammable
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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