i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize