You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
